In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s this minor sporting event called the FIFA World Cup which has been on some of the higher-numbered cable channels. In the spirit, I took some time to wonder what my ultimate Pokemon football XI would be.
In Goal – Ambipom
I know; an easy place to start. Even without the big arms and even bigger hands, that unnerving grin would make even the most steely of penalty-takers quiver. I’d keep Cofagrigus on the bench just in case, though.
Central defence – Blastoise and Donphan
Imagine trekking all the way up the pitch and coming face-to-face with that. You’d run straight home. Not only would they make a formidable defensive wall, but you can bet Donphan wouldn’t mind taking it on ‘is ‘ead when the ball came in from a corner. You can bet these two wouldn’t go down for diving either; in case of serious injury, Mamoswine is on the bench.
Full backs – Rapidash and Luxray
Full-backs need to be quick and versatile enough to defend at one end and aid in counterattacking at the other end. Rapidash definitely has the pace, and what Luxray lacks in speed, it gains in sheer shock value (if you’ll pardon the pun, sah). Yeah, so maybe Zebstrika’s a safer choice. But I like Luxray; sue me.
Central midfield – Mewtwo and Pyroar (c)
Mewtwo is the ultimate Old Reliable, exactly what a holding midfielder should be. When I was eight, did I bother training anything, breeding anything? No I did not. Mewtwo would save me, every time. As for the captaincy, that had to go for the pokemon who could shout the loudest- as well as look fierce. (Arceus would have been captain, but he shagged Zebstrika’s missus.)
Wingers – Hitmontop and Furfou
Hear me out on this one. Wingers are known not only for their speed and first-touch football, but also for being massive show-offs. Hitmontop, inspired by the Brazillian dance-fighting style of Capoeira, could show off on the ball. Furfrou, who needs a new haircut every four days, shows off when not on the pitch. It’s tiring being the centre of attention all the time, so when one needs subbing off, Furret (with Follow Me) will be ready to take up the mantle.
Up Front – Blaziken and Lucario
Actually being able to kick is a big deal in football, so humanlike fighting-types seemed like a good idea. Lucario would cross it in, and Blaziken would finish it off. If one needs a rest, Gallade is warming up on the touchline.
Any that you think I’ve missed?
Kanto to Unova (and beyond) 